Recorded live

“Family Matters” MCA-Tawasaw Seminar

Shaykh Alauddin ElBakri (unverified)

Transcript

16 moments mention “Quran”:

  1. so
  2. ah
  3. [Music]
  4. um
  5. foxy
  6. so foreign
  7. um
  8. important
  9. [Music]
  10. [Music]
  11. uh we're trying to wrap up today
  12. uh the whole
  13. you know
  14. supposed to be a five-week
  15. episode
  16. each episode about an hour
  17. we did three hours
  18. and then we stopped and now we're doing
  19. the last two hours one hour before risha
  20. and one hour after asia
  21. what i attempt to do today just so that
  22. if you
  23. this is the first time that you attend
  24. that you are able to
  25. uh basically
  26. um
  27. you know you're able to
  28. wrap up you know your head around the
  29. material so i will do a review
  30. and then after review move forward and
  31. shut them out
  32. the name of the class or the name of the
  33. theme
  34. topic is
  35. family matters
  36. and
  37. [Music]
  38. you know
  39. it could be understood in two different
  40. ways family matters any family issues
  41. that we want to discuss and family
  42. matters that family is important
  43. it matters
  44. more than anything else
  45. this idea this family structure
  46. is something that allah
  47. did himself
  48. right from
  49. [Music]
  50. brought
  51. [Music]
  52. created its mate and from these two he
  53. brought so many men and women
  54. so this explains
  55. the
  56. family structure
  57. it's very interesting to
  58. understand
  59. or to know or to think that the first
  60. relationship between two human beings
  61. was a husband-wife relationship
  62. it was not a brother sister father son
  63. mother daughter
  64. brother sister it was a husband and wife
  65. first relationship between two human
  66. beings was managed
  67. so that they could establish a family
  68. so allah started
  69. the humanity with a family
  70. which is now this becomes
  71. his way of doing things is allah's way
  72. also
  73. and as we know this is
  74. divine sunnahs
  75. that you know which we call them the
  76. laws of natures or the constants of laws
  77. of nature
  78. they run and they govern
  79. nature
  80. you know what we call the
  81. physics and chemistry
  82. and then there is
  83. also
  84. in terms of the human
  85. uh
  86. experience
  87. like what happened what happens again
  88. and again and again and again in the
  89. history of mankind this is
  90. uh
  91. for example if you unite
  92. you will win united we stand divided we
  93. fall this is a sunnah
  94. this is
  95. allah put it in history and humanity
  96. and
  97. there is no way around it if a muslim
  98. does it he would succeed if a non-muslim
  99. does it would succeed if an atheist does
  100. it it would succeed
  101. it's just how things run in this world
  102. and the fourth sunnah is
  103. the prophet
  104. so there is
  105. like the prophet
  106. said that allah said
  107. o my servants i have made oppression
  108. forbidden for me
  109. and i made it forbidden for you so do
  110. not oppress one another and i was
  111. telling you i'm leaving by example
  112. no one can make anything haram for me
  113. between you so do not oppress one
  114. another you are way much less than me
  115. there is a million people and a million
  116. things that can stop you i can stop you
  117. so you better take it take my lead on
  118. this system so this is
  119. as we said the laws of physics math
  120. chemistry biology this is how allah
  121. created the universe and it runs on
  122. these laws
  123. there
  124. how is work in the world of human beings
  125. so allah asks us to study history again
  126. and again and again in the quran
  127. so
  128. yes a bit louder with them so inshallah
  129. you know
  130. in his creation what allah wanted in his
  131. creation is that the first relationship
  132. between the first two human beings was
  133. married
  134. which really yeah
  135. which it really is a problem
  136. so
  137. so
  138. the first uh
  139. yeah the first uh issue the first
  140. relationship between the first two human
  141. beings was managed
  142. and tribes
  143. so that you may know one another
  144. and again it says you may know one
  145. another through
  146. match
  147. so
  148. if we may close these doors
  149. that would be
  150. really good
  151. so
  152. now
  153. getting closer
  154. you cannot put it higher
  155. oh this is the max wow okay
  156. uh maybe this i sometimes sense that
  157. this is better
  158. same
  159. so
  160. yeah
  161. allah
  162. we're talking about family matters
  163. there is a surah in the quran named
  164. after a family
  165. the family of imran
  166. very interesting
  167. there's no other surah like that like
  168. this
  169. you know
  170. but there's no surrounding
  171. so there is something to be paid
  172. attention here to just from the name of
  173. this world
  174. and then moreover
  175. allah tells us you know the great honor
  176. this family has
  177. because where did allah line this family
  178. up like where is the line
  179. how they were added to which group of
  180. people in allah
  181. is a message to you and i that you don't
  182. have to be a prophet or a messenger to
  183. be honored and honorable in the eyes of
  184. allah
  185. that you can get in a great honor by not
  186. without being a prophet or a messenger
  187. they even said we don't know
  188. let's go to the cave
  189. to allah
  190. let's see what allah let us do because
  191. we don't know the answers
  192. so but yet there is a surah name after
  193. them
  194. so again here is a for us right so the
  195. question becomes
  196. you know in general in general
  197. the western society is an individual
  198. driven society
  199. me i and myself
  200. it even shows like in the website
  201. so it's always i me
  202. myself you know even the word me is
  203. different you know companies 23 and me
  204. you know this and this me
  205. uh so it's generally driven by
  206. individual success right
  207. um
  208. in the
  209. let's say near east middle east and far
  210. east is usually the family success but
  211. even the names of the companies
  212. uh
  213. you know
  214. muhammad ahmad
  215. or
  216. the company of this
  217. and his family his children his brothers
  218. you know it's uh very interesting that
  219. even in the names of the company you're
  220. talking about name of the family so it's
  221. a family driven what allah
  222. wants to us to pay attention to is that
  223. you
  224. you should
  225. aspire to have an honorable family
  226. it should be a goal
  227. you should try
  228. and
  229. the more you try
  230. the better you are in the eyes of allah
  231. you know
  232. that's why we encourage like people who
  233. are not married to men like there is a
  234. hadith
  235. it's not
  236. confirmed it's alive but the worst of
  237. the few who die has not met for example
  238. so there is an energy
  239. get married have children have family
  240. right this was a big engagement all
  241. young people whosoever can afford
  242. marriage amongst them amongst you let
  243. them get married there's an
  244. encouragement is this idea that you're
  245. gonna build a family legacy not an
  246. individual legacy right and that's why
  247. we find even the early believers
  248. children right when we talk about saying
  249. you know
  250. there is
  251. a family we see so many families
  252. involved in the early days of islam in
  253. supporting the dawah
  254. even the family of the prophet saws
  255. was the backbone of the prophet
  256. sallallahu alaihi wasallam okay
  257. so this is just that introduction for us
  258. to you know change the mindset right
  259. change the mindset
  260. um
  261. maybe
  262. look at here in the second i says
  263. it's good good kids coming out of good
  264. parents
  265. you know and and they are all within
  266. this good group of people
  267. mention
  268. you know their children because
  269. no it's from the children of adam
  270. ibrahim is from the children of glory
  271. and ali imran is from the children of
  272. ibraheem in a way
  273. like these people kept on bringing
  274. children that are
  275. you know good children
  276. we know we put him from
  277. i know you're talking about
  278. 1850 bc
  279. 23
  280. and he never lost the connection and he
  281. told abu bakr the names of my parents
  282. is correct
  283. but i am from the children of this man
  284. so look
  285. the idea
  286. is
  287. it's it's a very interesting idea the
  288. idea if you if you
  289. were to take that and benefit from it
  290. yourself
  291. does any one of us think
  292. i want to plan for my family for the
  293. next hundred one thousand two thousand
  294. years
  295. you're gonna say well that's impossible
  296. yeah it is impossible for you to plan
  297. for their lives and this and this and
  298. that but what you can do
  299. if you intend if you have that intention
  300. the power of the intention
  301. then maybe your mom will accept that
  302. intention and will make something great
  303. and zero cost to you you don't have to
  304. make billions to guarantee that your
  305. great grandchildren have money
  306. it's not about the money here it's not
  307. about the
  308. it's about the intention do you want a
  309. family that
  310. like really and this begs a question
  311. from us parents
  312. really why do you want to have children
  313. and that
  314. question and that
  315. is answered in the story because allah
  316. you know even that's a major issue like
  317. why do you want to have children
  318. the wife of imran was very clear
  319. when she was very clear and sincere with
  320. allah allah was very clear and sincere
  321. meaning allah accepted her back to the
  322. max
  323. she asked allah for a boy
  324. but the lady her husband is very old he
  325. died while she was pregnant she's old
  326. she's not going to have a chance to
  327. raise this boy who's going to raise this
  328. point you're asking for an exceptional
  329. exceptional exceptional boy
  330. if you give me this i will do that
  331. so she said if you give me a child i
  332. will give him back to you
  333. she was so sincere and so concerned
  334. and and last time you know this last
  335. week and we explained
  336. the geopolitical situation
  337. the dream of the life of iran was
  338. something to someone to save not only
  339. her family but the nation
  340. they were in such a mess the children of
  341. israel that really they really needed
  342. someone to to save them like it wasn't a
  343. joke
  344. you know
  345. and
  346. subhanallah
  347. in our children because we are really in
  348. a great mess and we need
  349. someone to initiate some good work it's
  350. a teamwork it's a nationwork it's not an
  351. individual but
  352. there is allah
  353. in his
  354. creation in the world of human beings
  355. back again to the sunnah
  356. allah's way of doing things in the world
  357. human beings allah sends one just one
  358. and that one changes life allah
  359. so one initiates and ignites
  360. and then it's supposed to become prophet
  361. muhammad
  362. one right
  363. but he didn't do it all by himself but
  364. things get ignited by one right
  365. is one but people think
  366. alone by himself there was a whole
  367. generation with him
  368. so the question is
  369. you know
  370. really really what do you really really
  371. really want to have from your child like
  372. if you give up
  373. allah will give you backwards
  374. i want my child to be just like good
  375. like religious like
  376. just praying
  377. but i want you to be very successful
  378. that's what you're going to get
  379. but if you say i want you allah someone
  380. read for you all
  381. i'm going to give you what's in my womb
  382. liberated from any conditions no strings
  383. attached no other purposes
  384. no other things
  385. free and to be free all for you giving
  386. the whole child for you this is i want i
  387. want this child for you
  388. of allah doesn't need you
  389. but i wanted him for your cause
  390. the clarity of the year
  391. created
  392. ripples that we feel it in today
  393. so
  394. allah says
  395. the dua of his grandmother the wife of
  396. imran
  397. people lose that connection oh she asked
  398. for a boy but she got a girl oh
  399. she's not a girl no she got a boy
  400. but later step number two
  401. that connection is not made
  402. we need to make that connection and that
  403. is a much incentive for you know the
  404. mothers right the mothers the mothers
  405. make spam they make it or break it they
  406. bring the family together or they break
  407. their family that's why there is a great
  408. responsibility on the mothers right give
  409. them something
  410. that joins people that brings people
  411. together right
  412. so
  413. i
  414. so there's two possibilities in the
  415. world of pepsi which is very beautiful
  416. commentary
  417. and the male is not like
  418. females who said that statement
  419. there's the
  420. did the wife of imran say that
  421. or did allah say that
  422. because it makes a huge difference she
  423. said and the male is not like the female
  424. it means i ask for a male right the
  425. young female and the fear is not like a
  426. female
  427. whether
  428. just to be relevant for today's
  429. discussion
  430. whether the wife of imran said it and
  431. allah approved it and mentioned it in
  432. his book or whether ambassador mentioned
  433. his
  434. is very relevant for today and the mail
  435. is not like that email
  436. can we make that clear please
  437. because today that's not clear
  438. okay
  439. linguistically linguistically
  440. in any language not only
  441. there is something called the compared
  442. and the compared with
  443. so i'm comparing someone and i'm
  444. comparing that one with someone else
  445. so usually there's a compare and there's
  446. that compared with
  447. usually who's better the compared or
  448. compared with
  449. because i'm doing comparison here and
  450. i'm saying
  451. this person
  452. is as good as this person so now this
  453. person is the establishment is the
  454. foundation and i'm comparing someone
  455. with him
  456. this statement is used to
  457. attack the quran like people come and
  458. say oh muslims uh
  459. discrimination against women
  460. and made chopin
  461. says in the quran and the male is not
  462. like a human linguistically if you take
  463. a face value in this ayah the female is
  464. better than them
  465. why because she's not compared with
  466. wales
  467. but in the quran there is no competition
  468. allah said i created the mail and the
  469. female it doesn't matter it's this and
  470. that and and and i shared with you
  471. things that are very interesting
  472. linguistically in the story of maryam
  473. just for a lot to show that
  474. a made-dominated society that they use
  475. to consider women like a second
  476. sub-human like second-class citizen
  477. sub-human different species
  478. an object of pleasure
  479. so allah
  480. because you're talking to a society that
  481. is damaged at that time by these
  482. notions about women that you know
  483. they're good for nothing except for
  484. pleasure
  485. foreign
  486. but
  487. so this lady masha allah
  488. really go again
  489. i intend this may be for you i'm going
  490. to name him a worshiper like
  491. you know we have about
  492. him in aramaic in in hebrew
  493. with love
  494. willingly with a choice satisfied
  495. this is the word planet right
  496. obedient and with love with passion
  497. right
  498. so
  499. and she's scanning okay
  500. what is going to destroy this girl and
  501. her children she already
  502. having a vision this girl is going to
  503. have children
  504. my god this lady is going
  505. future but she has a vision
  506. his grandmother
  507. so so many things are happening so
  508. immediately with allah
  509. the lady
  510. made another
  511. whatever's in my womb
  512. i will give it to you
  513. allah said i accept it
  514. she is not the prophet she's not the
  515. messenger you can do that i can do that
  516. i can say y'all i give my child to you
  517. give him all the power and success to me
  518. god me
  519. lordly
  520. do you have that dream the question is
  521. do you want that some people don't want
  522. that
  523. plain and simple
  524. very clearly they don't want that i
  525. don't want my kid to be
  526. i remember new security i counseled the
  527. girl
  528. she was crying
  529. she's totally under threat from the
  530. appearance she was born muslim
  531. never been taught anything about islam
  532. the first time she come across islam and
  533. muslims is a new secret
  534. she falls in love with the stuff she
  535. stopped practicing she's going
  536. all over the place she's totally
  537. and she goes as far as wearing a child
  538. also
  539. this is islam this is me i was born her
  540. name is a muslim but her parents didn't
  541. want her here parents found out and oh
  542. my god
  543. you're gonna either take that hijab off
  544. get out of the mca and never have a
  545. muslim friend or we will cut all ties
  546. and one funding for your school
  547. and all ties with you
  548. i mean
  549. there's people who are very clear that
  550. they don't want their kids to be good
  551. muslims they don't want to even to be a
  552. muslim just be muslim by name that's not
  553. what we want you to be
  554. this is the opposite here
  555. because we're talking about family
  556. matters and we're talking about kids and
  557. raising kids and which is a word that i
  558. don't like
  559. raising i feel like raising cattle is
  560. more appropriate i feel like
  561. growing is like upbringing it i would
  562. like to say growing with kids right
  563. so
  564. um yes we do feed them but that's not
  565. the only thing they're not cattle
  566. this is a coded word
  567. that gives you a hand this is how you
  568. reach children
  569. in urdu and in arabic you have the word
  570. nabat
  571. correct me if i'm wrong do you have the
  572. word
  573. what does it mean
  574. he grew her
  575. like one of us
  576. how do you grow a plant
  577. you just say plant
  578. grow up and give me fruit
  579. you put your water you put fertilizer
  580. you wait one year years three years oh
  581. my allah we are now first oh it's still
  582. you know first crop second proctor
  583. you know first harvest second harvest
  584. and a three after 10 15 years oh my god
  585. a victory in
  586. so that gives us a hint
  587. when we raise our kids
  588. and teach them and grow them i told
  589. parents like um i said there's two
  590. things that we have to be clear about
  591. we don't want to raise our kids we want
  592. to
  593. discipline ourselves and our kids we
  594. want to grow with our kids that's at
  595. least how i see it because
  596. i ask parents
  597. tell me one thing
  598. that you want your child to do
  599. that you are exempted from it that you
  600. don't have to do
  601. i want you to study
  602. [Music]
  603. i want you to pray you have to pray you
  604. have to tell the truth
  605. that's very clear but what i'm trying to
  606. say is the values the principles
  607. what what is it that you're trying to
  608. teach your child that doesn't apply to
  609. you
  610. it doesn't exist all applies to you so
  611. it's we're not raising our children
  612. we're growing with them
  613. where
  614. you see there's no college you go to
  615. four years college would you like to go
  616. to four years what four years
  617. uh
  618. marriage school
  619. you go learn about marriage you go
  620. through some residency
  621. and then when you're done then you won't
  622. get married there's no such thing
  623. uh children's school you go through four
  624. years they give you children you raise
  625. them you experiment with them okay now
  626. you know what you're doing governments
  627. it's all on the spot so if it's all on
  628. the spot while you're doing it you have
  629. to do it to yourself
  630. you have to say oh wow
  631. i was wrong i shouldn't have done that
  632. like you should do something
  633. and when you stop yourself and you
  634. display that self-discipline then what
  635. happens then that becomes the strongest
  636. biggest lesson for your kids right
  637. number two
  638. um when we talk
  639. about the principle a general group
  640. is that
  641. when you
  642. are trying to
  643. teach your kids
  644. there is what we call
  645. short-term happiness versus long-term
  646. happiness or short-term
  647. satisfaction instant gratification
  648. versus long-term
  649. instant gratification the kid is doing
  650. something wrong you get mad you get
  651. upset you scream you read they stop
  652. you're so good
  653. you're so happy they stopped they listen
  654. to you but on the long run they're not
  655. gonna listen
  656. so you have to ask yourself are you
  657. trying to win today's battle or you're
  658. trying to win the war
  659. so if you're just trying to win today
  660. you're going to be angry every day every
  661. day every day every day every day
  662. there will be no good times because you
  663. constantly just want them not to bother
  664. you and that becomes a problem there's a
  665. chat cannot help but to bother you
  666. really very humbling to me to know that
  667. my my parents had to teach me how to
  668. hold the spoon and put it in my mouth
  669. do you know how much you teach
  670. how to tie your shoes how to put socks
  671. how to put your underwear how they train
  672. you how to
  673. so the idea here is
  674. one principle grow with your child
  675. number two
  676. walter one better hand about that you're
  677. growing a plant
  678. you're not uh
  679. you're not in a factory that you push
  680. something in and then it comes out and
  681. then you take it and package it and send
  682. it this is not a factory it's not
  683. instant
  684. it's a long term you want to win the war
  685. you don't want to win the battle today
  686. sometimes you have to let the goal of
  687. the battle today to win the war on the
  688. long run term and here is the one
  689. against the next against
  690. against that company i mean what what
  691. citizens option one there enough's
  692. you have to be clear when you are
  693. growing your children
  694. who are the enemies on the horizon look
  695. she took care of the nerfs
  696. by saying what
  697. i give this to you allah you discipline
  698. number two she took care of shaytan
  699. number three
  700. i took care of the company
  701. who raised her and she allah up in the
  702. house of psychiatry a prophet so three
  703. enemies taken care of then that's by
  704. allah
  705. the
  706. shaytan also by allah
  707. and the neighborhood and the
  708. household is also by allah
  709. all of this because the mother made an
  710. intention
  711. i was really touched last class when we
  712. talked about insanity last weekend
  713. a sister came and said you really
  714. if something happens to us i have two
  715. daughters who's gonna take care of them
  716. who's gonna take it and i lost my son
  717. but after i listen to the lecture
  718. the wife of iran left the daughter
  719. so i'm not worried
  720. you know
  721. you don't think about it and that's
  722. exactly what happened the father died
  723. the mother died and then
  724. raised um
  725. and now zachariah looks at this amazing
  726. childhood he wishes for the child so
  727. this just an introduction here and a
  728. review of what we
  729. talked about
  730. again back again the power of intention
  731. so
  732. her lord accepted her in a good way and
  733. grew her in a good way
  734. and
  735. fascinating child
  736. i am old my wife is old
  737. what can
  738. in other words why did i stop making dua
  739. yeah he didn't say that he said yo i've
  740. never suffered because of my for you
  741. me and this is here comes the name of
  742. allah
  743. many things in life you cannot
  744. accomplish them
  745. you cannot work for them even if you
  746. work with them you will still not
  747. accomplish them there is another way of
  748. doing it especially when you cannot
  749. accomplish it you say allah you gifted
  750. to me
  751. in arabic
  752. is important gift
  753. you have nothing to do with it and
  754. that's why allah's name is
  755. the gifter
  756. so we usually
  757. as believers we don't use this
  758. name of allah
  759. i have so much stress i cannot handle it
  760. very much in time i'm feeling tired i
  761. can't do it okay but there is a resource
  762. that you haven't tapped into with this
  763. allah
  764. allah can give you something that you
  765. never thought of allah can slow time for
  766. you allah can give you stronger health
  767. allah can give you better children allah
  768. can give you a better job allah can give
  769. you better income allah can give you a
  770. better neighborhood better house better
  771. friends why are you only counting on
  772. yourself
  773. why are you not thinking of allah
  774. why are you not making dua
  775. you see this
  776. these people are very clear
  777. good
  778. about what i mean if you look here at
  779. the translation oh allah virtuous
  780. virtuous offspring
  781. virtues what's important
  782. the angel
  783. foreign
  784. this is 70 camels low it was not meant
  785. to be memorized it was meant to be
  786. written and preserved through writing
  787. but
  788. was one of the people who memorized it
  789. with that gift you know and the original
  790. no haram relationship this word
  791. has been as a dispute but it means that
  792. he will never get married but
  793. majority said allah never praised the
  794. prophet with not being married because
  795. all the prophets ibrahim the greatest
  796. grandfather muhammad saw yourself
  797. in heaven they were all married but you
  798. know the word
  799. here is the one who is protected
  800. protected from haram and again last
  801. weekend i explained why because the
  802. reality the context that yeshiya and
  803. marijuana and isa were born in
  804. was
  805. san francisco on steroids
  806. like san francisco
  807. [Music]
  808. and culture today which is considered
  809. the most liberal city in america
  810. is conservative
  811. comparing to the reality of where yahiah
  812. and the east
  813. lived and raised and san francisco today
  814. the most liberal city in america is
  815. considered conservative
  816. at the time of the prophet
  817. but that's a whole other presentation
  818. and i can prove it to you again and
  819. again and again and again it's a very
  820. fascinating presentation about the
  821. reality of the prophet simple violence
  822. that he was born
  823. so
  824. asura
  825. is
  826. doesn't happen
  827. xena was very
  828. rampant the greeks
  829. and uh
  830. the romans
  831. used their kings their emperors used to
  832. take pride and this is not the secret
  833. that they are bisexual like they will
  834. have no problem with men and women at
  835. the same time and they used to take
  836. pride that you know it's a real man like
  837. that so allah
  838. says
  839. but what do we want to take from this
  840. the clarity of saying
  841. of what he wants here in the in the
  842. beginning of surat maryam
  843. he said
  844. he said
  845. i
  846. [Music]
  847. born
  848. for bc it's very interesting he's
  849. supposed to be born zero b you know a
  850. year but he's actually not what the user
  851. is born 44 years before he was supposed
  852. to be born but anyway
  853. you know so
  854. is connecting between this child
  855. and 1400 years before that
  856. so
  857. today
  858. we are here
  859. 1400 years ago
  860. if i say i want a child that is
  861. you know
  862. quran you know
  863. [Music]
  864. 1450 years before him on average let's
  865. say 1500 number years rounded number
  866. do you see like these people have so
  867. much connection back and so much vision
  868. to the front
  869. i think this is one of the
  870. one of the
  871. achilles game of muslims today
  872. what is our situation bad okay we're
  873. done
  874. no we're not done we're not done
  875. let's have an intention
  876. that
  877. from our children and grandchildren
  878. something better will come
  879. like
  880. it was doom and gloom at the time
  881. again i don't want to deviate from my
  882. lecture but if i start explaining to you
  883. the socio-economic political situation
  884. and i'm talking from non-muslim
  885. resources here
  886. they're not just trying to bad-mouth
  887. these people it's actually history
  888. documented history
  889. in it of our soul
  890. i mean
  891. to me i'm always thinking okay allah is
  892. praising maryam for protecting their
  893. private parts from haram like what's the
  894. big deal
  895. any average muslim girl doesn't do a
  896. problem
  897. it's not a big deal for you but once you
  898. understand
  899. the surrounding of maryam and how
  900. it was so prevalent that jewish
  901. community only
  902. was
  903. destroyed mortally and start copying the
  904. romans in their actions cena was so
  905. rampant that if there is a girl that is
  906. not doing
  907. allah praise them
  908. like you have to understand
  909. it's very interesting very interesting
  910. and that's why i said
  911. i i said and i still say
  912. if there is a boy
  913. or a girl
  914. that go to public school
  915. especially during middle school high
  916. school and college and come out
  917. and they have not done haram to me they
  918. are from
  919. specifically how they protected
  920. themselves
  921. because of how much harm was surrounding
  922. them and it's not it's very easy to fall
  923. into harm
  924. you have your naps on the top of shrimp
  925. comes and exploits your nest and then
  926. you have temptation from the opposite
  927. gender that they say that what are you
  928. talking about
  929. you should you should pleasure yourself
  930. you should have you should experiment
  931. you should let this is good for you this
  932. is healthy let's just do it
  933. imagine someone is talking to you like
  934. that
  935. you are a human at the end of the day
  936. you know what does it take what did you
  937. think it took a prophet
  938. it
  939. if it wasn't that he saw the proof from
  940. his lord allah had to open like some
  941. some miracle in the face of yusuf for
  942. yusuf and that's a prophet
  943. unless
  944. and until and if it wasn't for that he
  945. saw the proof of his lord so many
  946. interpretations he said look at
  947. and he saw the visa
  948. he got so scared
  949. that something some divine intervention
  950. so what are we expecting from our sons
  951. and daughters i don't know
  952. to me it's mission impossible
  953. now you have to send your kids to islam
  954. it's good i don't know how to slice it
  955. or dice it for you but if you're
  956. expecting and please don't complain
  957. yourself if you were born and raised
  958. overseas and came here um but after 18
  959. or after 25 your core has been already
  960. established like the stuff will look
  961. disgusting to you you will never know
  962. but when a kid is born and raised on
  963. here
  964. again and again and again
  965. in public school and then you expect
  966. something to come out of it how how
  967. they're not prophets and moreover
  968. they're not even bad at the idea
  969. and between two parentheses to you
  970. but radhiya is open pleasing to you
  971. pleasing to me is to everyone you
  972. understand so
  973. but
  974. is making a different one similar in the
  975. same direction of the wife of graham
  976. from inherent knowledge the wisdom the
  977. revelation from aliyah and then allah
  978. gave him the name
  979. i believe and this i am nobody and just
  980. this person and perfection that there's
  981. two names mentioned for saying
  982. the quran one
  983. is the commandment
  984. with which allah created him
  985. so with isa
  986. the example of is like the example of
  987. adam he said to him be and he was
  988. the word yahya in arabic
  989. could be a name
  990. i mean i love that name so much i named
  991. my son here so
  992. here is a name or it could be a verb it
  993. could be one a verb
  994. comes from allah it comes as a demand
  995. you shall live you shall exist because
  996. the mother is barren the father is old
  997. and that
  998. yeah that command that allah used to
  999. create this point allah didn't choose it
  1000. with anyone else
  1001. would mean uh no one has his name or
  1002. samia
  1003. no one has his level of righteousness
  1004. very interesting the name of yahya in
  1005. his life
  1006. is johanna
  1007. what's the name in his life
  1008. in arabic
  1009. what's the name of isa in his life
  1010. yahshua
  1011. joshua became isa
  1012. okay
  1013. yeshua
  1014. it has a meaning
  1015. the one who helps
  1016. to help the one who helps others that's
  1017. the name of joshua
  1018. johanna
  1019. is
  1020. the one who has tenderness and love
  1021. interestingly
  1022. very close word that is only used once
  1023. in the quran and only with one person
  1024. close to his name
  1025. if you
  1026. unapologetically
  1027. ibrahim abraham it could be however it
  1028. was pronounced at his time but now it
  1029. became arabic and that's all what it is
  1030. but the idea is the vision
  1031. the second thing here uh
  1032. we're talking about family matters we're
  1033. talking about parents children
  1034. uh how to grow
  1035. our children how to
  1036. you know and and maybe i'm going all
  1037. over the place but
  1038. you know it's
  1039. the whole idea is family matters and how
  1040. can we how can we benefit from these
  1041. you know i can sit down here and give
  1042. you a very typical lecture what i'm
  1043. actually doing in my mind is i'm
  1044. avoiding repeating everything that i
  1045. know you've already heard on youtube and
  1046. you already heard from other
  1047. so
  1048. i don't want to repeat to you what you
  1049. already know i'm trying to give you
  1050. something that you can add right because
  1051. there's no point in you just listening
  1052. to the same thing again and again and
  1053. again so you might find like gaps in my
  1054. presentation but that's that's okay
  1055. we're talking about family matters
  1056. growing with our children
  1057. for example from personal life
  1058. experience i have realized
  1059. that
  1060. our entire test in life is to come to
  1061. life
  1062. figure out what's wrong with you
  1063. fix it
  1064. and then meet allah allah will reward
  1065. you for fixing yourself
  1066. is
  1067. so i asked myself
  1068. okay so
  1069. everyone
  1070. when they are young at the beginning of
  1071. their life they think they're an angel
  1072. and they're perfect they're sober
  1073. right
  1074. and you cannot see what's wrong with you
  1075. because you can't see
  1076. you know you can if your eyes have uh
  1077. you know
  1078. the googly stuff and or or there is a
  1079. dirt on your cheek
  1080. or marker or sometimes
  1081. very embarrassingly a booger shows out
  1082. of your nose right and people are like
  1083. um
  1084. you cannot see it
  1085. so how in the world
  1086. you're gonna see what's wrong with you
  1087. two things are gonna happen with for you
  1088. in life they will expose you to you
  1089. number one
  1090. manage number two having kids
  1091. when you get married
  1092. you're gonna discover yourself for real
  1093. and when you have children and they
  1094. start copying you
  1095. you're gonna discover yourself again
  1096. and people when they
  1097. unfortunately the reaction of someone
  1098. who's not reading the quran is that
  1099. they blame the spouse or they blame the
  1100. child for being a reflection of them
  1101. and they walk away
  1102. the prophet
  1103. the believer is the better of his
  1104. brother and sister and that's why allah
  1105. put this dynamic what allah will happen
  1106. feedback advice they tell one another
  1107. improve one another choose nice words
  1108. given advice in a beautiful way choose
  1109. the best time the best place the best
  1110. words and the best intention this is
  1111. what's required for giving a sea help
  1112. with wisdom best time best place best
  1113. words best intention right if any one of
  1114. them goes wrong
  1115. is gonna
  1116. backfire and it's not gonna do the work
  1117. that it's supposed to do so the idea
  1118. here is how am i gonna know what's wrong
  1119. with me
  1120. number one marriage number two having
  1121. children so
  1122. that's why i say getting married and
  1123. having children
  1124. is the
  1125. major opportunity and almost the only
  1126. opportunity that you're gonna fix
  1127. yourself so as much as you're trying to
  1128. raise your children you actually need to
  1129. be raised yourself as much
  1130. but people
  1131. don't handle that there's nothing wrong
  1132. with me i'm not i don't know where my
  1133. kids are like that
  1134. i think it's it's not very rocket
  1135. science don't forget why your kids are
  1136. like that right they're only a
  1137. reflection of you and yourselves so
  1138. what's you know
  1139. it's just it's okay
  1140. sometimes you do your part and then your
  1141. kid does not make your choices that's
  1142. fine
  1143. that's fine like you know set up his
  1144. first son didn't have the same choice
  1145. but
  1146. he also was a you know saying
  1147. in his reality to have one out of four
  1148. go out on him and he did a good job
  1149. one thousand years nobody wants to
  1150. believe and you have four sons one goes
  1151. with his mother
  1152. and then three go with you on the ship
  1153. that's 75 success rate
  1154. i'll take that all day long
  1155. because at the end your child will make
  1156. choices but i'm talking about little
  1157. children when they are growing up so
  1158. here we find on the story of rockman
  1159. another dynamic that allah gives us we
  1160. have given luqman
  1161. okay wow so let's learn from gupta
  1162. allah in the next ayah says after he
  1163. said we've given command
  1164. be thankful to allah for whosoever is
  1165. thankful for allah this would be
  1166. thankful to himself which to me this is
  1167. one of the most important statements in
  1168. the quran whosoever is thankful to
  1169. only allah can say that and that totally
  1170. changes the personality of islam and the
  1171. dynamic of islam and
  1172. like the understanding of itself
  1173. people muslims are not excited about
  1174. practicing islam because they don't see
  1175. their own benefit in it what's for me in
  1176. it i get nothing okay i worship allah to
  1177. make allah happy
  1178. so that i later on can you know go to
  1179. jannah but right now i need to benefit
  1180. myself i cannot be religious i cannot be
  1181. straightforward i will lose i need you
  1182. know when i'm 40 50 60 i will turn back
  1183. to allah
  1184. why is someone thinking like that
  1185. because they're thinking
  1186. if they practice islam
  1187. that benefit goes to allah they're not
  1188. going to benefit from it and then they
  1189. go and tell themselves but anyway allah
  1190. doesn't need my worship so
  1191. i don't think allah would be too mad
  1192. or too upset with me or too unpleased
  1193. with me if i don't listen to him because
  1194. he doesn't need it i'm just going to act
  1195. like a foolish child and then after that
  1196. i will repent and be good
  1197. the whole thing is a stemming from a
  1198. deadly virus this virus says
  1199. islam is only for your affirmative and
  1200. it's only to make allah please
  1201. so you don't see your own personal
  1202. benefit in it
  1203. this is
  1204. you will never run out of energy and
  1205. excitement about your being
  1206. because every time you practice your
  1207. deal you know it's going to benefit you
  1208. people run out of energy and oh i tried
  1209. i mean i tried to be religious but it
  1210. didn't work no you didn't try you tried
  1211. because you were thinking it's about
  1212. someone else
  1213. you tried and you thought you were
  1214. benefiting your lord
  1215. allah told us in the quran allah
  1216. appreciates
  1217. but he doesn't benefit from him
  1218. flesh that's another human gonna eat the
  1219. flesh
  1220. has no use for the blood or flesh but
  1221. what allah appreciates from you is the
  1222. devil people confuse allah appreciates
  1223. that more from us
  1224. when allah needs it and if it's
  1225. it and i don't need it
  1226. then there is now a problem in your
  1227. relationship with islam i mean one of
  1228. the most
  1229. mathematical
  1230. uh mental statements in the quran that
  1231. really fascinates
  1232. it sounds to me right now we switch from
  1233. religion to physics
  1234. why because
  1235. allah knows that we know and we will
  1236. know that the shortest distance between
  1237. two points is a
  1238. straight line what allah wants to
  1239. that this
  1240. is the shortest distance between you and
  1241. success
  1242. so i'm gonna describe it
  1243. in
  1244. let's establish this
  1245. one
  1246. this is the shortest distance
  1247. understanding that fact creates any room
  1248. interest in islam that i want to focus
  1249. on to be successful like for me for me
  1250. and
  1251. you know you know how in the area like
  1252. i'm going to go start up my own company
  1253. because i'm going to make a lot of money
  1254. and i'm going to work 100 hours a week
  1255. because i'm going to make
  1256. you know that
  1257. drive
  1258. how come we don't have that drive with
  1259. our team because we don't see our
  1260. benefit
  1261. that to me is very important point when
  1262. it comes to having children what
  1263. conversation you know i'll do this
  1264. experiment with you
  1265. on the spot what's the name of this boy
  1266. huh
  1267. uh-huh
  1268. yeah
  1269. you're very smart
  1270. stand up here
  1271. i would love to be surprised today
  1272. inshallah
  1273. this is by the way my children answered
  1274. the same answer so please look okay
  1275. why do we pray to allah
  1276. because we're in
  1277. [Music]
  1278. why do we worship about it so we can um
  1279. be in the straight path of um
  1280. he was paying attention
  1281. [Music]
  1282. very good amazing give him a hand
  1283. come here
  1284. i don't
  1285. [Applause]
  1286. us and i'm lecturing come here come here
  1287. where are your parents from
  1288. algeria
  1289. [Music]
  1290. i know algeria very well
  1291. why do we worship allah
  1292. [Music]
  1293. so
  1294. so first of all you can get world
  1295. rewards
  1296. second
  1297. because he's the all righty
  1298. very good
  1299. [Applause]
  1300. [Music]
  1301. you know i go to one elementary school
  1302. after another and i ask this question
  1303. and it's always the
  1304. same answer
  1305. and the answer is not a bad answer
  1306. but it's very very dangerous it tells
  1307. the whole story why do we worship allah
  1308. nothing
  1309. no connection i worship allah so that i
  1310. can succeed in this nation the
  1311. presentation of the quran was
  1312. discovered
  1313. seek the help of sodom seek the
  1314. for life difficulties life problems
  1315. seek the help of patience and salah
  1316. salah's the reward is here now today
  1317. this minute when you pray you get it
  1318. right away
  1319. so what happens we lose interest in
  1320. islam because it's always for
  1321. yeah
  1322. can you watch something
  1323. can you give me something
  1324. so we lose that motivation
  1325. so very interesting this statement to me
  1326. is very crucial
  1327. whosoever is thankful is only thankful
  1328. to himself
  1329. why do we worship allah
  1330. to please allah as um
  1331. a lot of the kids said like
  1332. especially the last one because we
  1333. needed to
  1334. worship allah because we needed because
  1335. we have to
  1336. get the charge
  1337. [Music]
  1338. different way of how we explain things
  1339. the way allah explains it in the quran
  1340. like we left the quran and this
  1341. explanation we and we went after the
  1342. explanation of some writers who came in
  1343. all history and their words became the
  1344. quran and the quran became out of the
  1345. picture so
  1346. makes two statements that are
  1347. mind-blowing number one
  1348. foreign
  1349. why do you worship allah because you
  1350. will benefit yourself why do you worship
  1351. allah because you need it when is it
  1352. going to benefit you right now
  1353. you need the help of what salah and
  1354. patience
  1355. we worship you because we need your help
  1356. and we need it now
  1357. this moment not after i die and go to
  1358. jannah
  1359. anyway anyway which is what the prophet
  1360. saws gave us a very vital piece of
  1361. understanding like it fixed this like it
  1362. goes inside you read it and fixes
  1363. something inside
  1364. he says none of you will go to jannah
  1365. with your actions
  1366. and none of you
  1367. would go to jannah because of your
  1368. actions like
  1369. we pray so that we go to jannah
  1370. wrong answer
  1371. according to this hadith
  1372. if you pray your entire life from the
  1373. minute you are born to the minute you
  1374. die you will still not go to jannah
  1375. because of your prayers
  1376. you will only go to jannah because of
  1377. allah's mercy why
  1378. because our story goes as such we come
  1379. to life that there's so
  1380. many blessings
  1381. sun moon earth day night valleys rivers
  1382. mountains seeds oceans fish birds lamb
  1383. beef this rice food this sweet salty
  1384. sour at the moment
  1385. in this message kidneys liver heart soul
  1386. brain
  1387. so
  1388. if you spend your entire life
  1389. worshipping allah
  1390. you will not be able
  1391. to catch up with what allah already has
  1392. given you
  1393. so if we come at the end of your life
  1394. and we take all of your worship and we
  1395. take all the blessings and we do
  1396. mathematical equations
  1397. your worship will always be always
  1398. less than not less than or equal less
  1399. than
  1400. the blessings of allah this was
  1401. explained very well in hadith someone
  1402. allah praised him he lived on an island
  1403. for 500 years on the day of judgment
  1404. would you like to go to jannah with your
  1405. needs or with my
  1406. he said yeah i worshiped you for 500
  1407. years on an island i did nothing else i
  1408. want to go to jannah and i want to feel
  1409. like i earned it with my object i want
  1410. to go as a reward of mine
  1411. okay bring the visa they brought the
  1412. scale put his
  1413. 500 years on one side they put it on one
  1414. side put the blessings on his side only
  1415. on another side of the scale
  1416. with your mercy can i go to jail
  1417. okay now you've got the job with my
  1418. mercy
  1419. the whole understanding of islam that we
  1420. are passing on to our children
  1421. you see what's happening in the muslim
  1422. countries majority muslim countries
  1423. [Music]
  1424. why because to them islam will hit me
  1425. with my afirah i need something to help
  1426. me with my dunya i need to become
  1427. crooked so that i can make it in this
  1428. world and make it rich and make it big
  1429. so
  1430. thank you i will love allah i will pray
  1431. i will fast in ramadan i will pray and i
  1432. will cry
  1433. this is the mindset that we are
  1434. passing on to our children
  1435. but if we pass on to our children my
  1436. dear child
  1437. you need this now you need this year
  1438. this genuine business this total bonus
  1439. has nothing to do with what we do in
  1440. this world
  1441. total bonus from allah has nothing to do
  1442. with what you do if we live our entire
  1443. life saying that
  1444. look how embarrassing our situation is
  1445. if we worship our entire life saying
  1446. alhamdulillah will not be enough yet yet
  1447. allah says if you are thankful to me
  1448. i will let you have more
  1449. as if he didn't already give you enough
  1450. and as if you didn't already start with
  1451. the deficit we already start with
  1452. deficit meaning we didn't thank allah
  1453. enough we are already starting with the
  1454. minus just a little bit like you
  1455. borrowed a million dollar from someone
  1456. you're paying ten dollars you pay ten
  1457. dollars he said oh thank you for paying
  1458. me two thousand he's another twenty
  1459. dollars for you
  1460. but i'm still paying the debt you don't
  1461. have to gift me thank you no no oh you
  1462. said thank you i will give you some more
  1463. oh my god this is so good thank you oh
  1464. you said thank you i'm gonna give you
  1465. some more
  1466. the equation already right now is
  1467. mind-boggling
  1468. allah already gave you
  1469. so much you're not saying thank you
  1470. enough but when you say thank you he
  1471. gives it to you ten times more in this
  1472. world before the hereafter
  1473. so that's why
  1474. once you start understanding that your
  1475. self-interest is in islam in allah and
  1476. you pass on that to your children i
  1477. believe when this point is fixed
  1478. you will see a huge difference in the
  1479. muslim countries around the world
  1480. someone told me he was in a muslim
  1481. country i don't want to name it so there
  1482. are no bad mouth muslim countries it was
  1483. a muslim country the guy who came he's
  1484. paying the bill paying the bill paying
  1485. the bill from here from america he's
  1486. going to build electric he goes on
  1487. there's no electricity so he wants the
  1488. company the guy comes he says look i'm
  1489. paying everything the guy comes he's
  1490. shaved
  1491. and our guy is also shaved why because
  1492. our guy just finished and went back to
  1493. his country the guy who came from the
  1494. electric company is also went to hajj he
  1495. said why you shake he said i came from
  1496. head oh my god i give him
  1497. so if it's so good please fix this for
  1498. me of course i will fix it
  1499. but i have a small favor from you if you
  1500. go outside to my car in the back seat
  1501. you always find the box put something in
  1502. it and i will connect it to you today
  1503. this is true story he goes back he wants
  1504. to see what the heck is he talking about
  1505. he goes open and it's a box full of
  1506. money
  1507. so he comes back to him
  1508. you just came back from hajj he said oh
  1509. these are two different things this is
  1510. for my dunya and my children that's all
  1511. this is what's happening to us and we're
  1512. dying because of this
  1513. as an ummah we're dying because of this
  1514. this statement
  1515. and the next shocking statement is
  1516. because it's bad for you you're going to
  1517. end up oppressing yourself
  1518. when you worship others
  1519. you're going to become scattered you're
  1520. going to live in so much stress it's bad
  1521. for you it's a great injustice even
  1522. shirk is explained why it's bad in the
  1523. body when it doesn't need to be
  1524. explained
  1525. so if you take that understanding and we
  1526. are able to pass it on to our children
  1527. it will be really
  1528. a generation of change that we need i
  1529. need to stop here because
  1530. is
  1531. about to start and inshallah we will
  1532. continue after salah
  1533. inshallah
  1534. so
  1535. we will stop the
  1536. broadcasting for 10-15 minutes that we
  1537. wouldn't
  1538. continue