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Gender Relations and Marriage in Islam.

Shaykh Alauddin ElBakri (unverified)

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hi on everyone for coming today
mashallah um we're really pleased to
have uh
here today with us uh just to give a
little bit of an intro
um what we started his journey page in
North Africa where he was born and
raised he learned Quran there and also
learned Jordan to do his high school and
then he moved to Pakistan where he
studied at the International Islamic
University
he came to the U.S in 1996 and since
then he's been serving many uh dicks
across the state States
um of his most important achievements
he's the founder of this an organization
dedicated to educating
um people and training them in jobs
cities in Jose and he's also the founder
of the tawasa organization which helps
um
this Foundation is dedicated to
educating Muslim youth on how to apply
Islam
um currently he's a resident scholar at
the Saratoga Masjid and we're really
pleased
this is actually coming up
brothers and sisters
we wanted to bring with me today brother
on the board of MCA
in Santa Clara it's the largest language
talking about the space wise
it has three buildings
changed my end classes we did six weeks
back to back at UC Berkeley
2008. in 2009.
some children
so I wanted them to come and see but he
couldn't make it as a meeting but this
is uh why I wanted to bring him and for
him to speak to you a little bit is to
know
work on yourself you build yourself well
you will be able Islam and Muslims in
different capacities when you grow up
get ready
you will claim
that honor that Allah will give you it
is
in the name of Allah for the sake of
Allah
and to me of this chain of servants that
served this theme
from the time of the Prophet saws
I was asked to talk about these two
topics
in my judgment it's too much to cover
what's wrong
if we couldn't cover then maybe we can
do full attention Java to merge them all
together because they really deserve
to be covered by itself
the topic today is I'd like to stick to
it gender approaching management
oh
relationships
so if I put
that could be you that could be me that
could be anyone
and we how many relationships
does any one of us like
give me a relationship
you and
um
so I'm gonna do it like this
friends
okay wonderful
and family right siblings
from the new family
okay
right and
what else like uh
here's at school right
but they have friends
right so this is would you categorize
this under what this is all if we put
one
title for it your relationship with
people
thank you
relationship
spiritual
okay
we do like this
and that is between you and a lot
excellent give me another relationship
between you and maybe think Beyond
between you
absolutely
creation could be objects creation it
could be animals insects the ecosystem
all of that absolutely
I think outside the box
with yourself
between you and you
that's actually the first relationship
that any of us actually experience is
you'll get to feel that is me actually
becomes
kicks in around eight
before that interestingly as children we
have what we call Collective
Consciousness like you know and the rest
of the family your moments the units
after 9 10 you're starting
oh what does it mean what do I want to
be like
you start asking you all the time ago
you stop wanting to find yourself right
the relationship between you and you
the most important relationship after
your relationship with Allah
so what's left relationship between you
okay
and it's really a plus for us Muslims
out of being a Muslim
considers it
through this Revelation that Allah gave
to us so if I were to go positive
thank you
we go angel
right
right off the gym
there's two new human beings of people
there's two types there is Muslim
and then
It's also two does that bother you it
doesn't doesn't do anything to you but
it's that friend actually could be and
there is a half good one
standing against the truth standing
against what's right fight like what the
not everyone in Mecca torture or attack
the Muslims
some did
some just took a side right
Allah the same
if there is a human there is Catholic
and as fighting the truth
then Allah
which most of us Muslims actually
the shaytan is a word is given to the
human actually before the journey at
least
and is given to us so Allah
like wise women's
between the inside
so and of the journey there is two types
Muslim then there is two types peaceful
from doesn't bother you don't bother and
then there is the one that is
to help and she works straight under the
command of a place I don't want to take
all shaytan
now in the world this is very important
part of afraid of clash of that is Jin
so we feel what we don't see
but actually the one that is more
dangerous
I'll give you an example
if you feel
the Japan is inspiring you to do
something wrong
right agitated or do something what do
you say in order
um
away from you
try say I would believe you have a bad
friend sitting next to you
he's going nowhere
people
are more dangerous amongst the treatment
we don't follow the trends of gym
we don't follow the last trip you know
the last way
the last trend of the human beings
whatever is happening in the market like
whatever the less crazy stuff happens
okay the last thing relationship between
you
spouse you're already getting there
get to the red Pizza
um
outside the box between you
what's happening with you daily
you're not suing you on you
what's happening between who you did
what are you dealing every day
of the world
life is hard right
so
I like this I like this
you know this
this here even though
it was very simple when you say that
how does double arm benefits me that's
what the Quran is talking about
so many ions how does the Quran benefit
you in your daily life how can you act
it's very important that you know what
you are dealing with in life
is something called angels of Jin it's a
problem
it's a big problem they're kicking you
like a soccer ball and you don't even
know that you're being gay so this is
very very important to look amongst
human people that are struggling and
that's what I wanted to reach that to
you that's what was in the far the
relationship that you discuss with you
and yourself you want a lot you want
people family
exactly what you said guys
right Society
that's where the trends in the culture
right here between you and the Unseen
which is angels and then
the relationship between you and Allah's
creation right
and that is the
if we come here back
let's talk about
you now we're not gonna talk about
anything else you versus you from The
Book of Life
one okay
like for you to be able to deal with my
life
that you need in life is for you to know
yourself before you are able to know
what you're looking for
if you don't know yourself how can you
develop this knowledge how do I know
someone
that we are
I always sometimes like to bring um but
you know sometimes you arrive
on that post or something like
imagine yourself
layers of posters
so if we are talking about you
give me something that is about me or I
have
hey when okay great a goat has a brain
too
much
yeah
the mind is the
non-tangible part of your mind give me
more
made of emotions okay
so here
right
emotional
emotional
heart
excellent
there is a name I will share it with you
let's go
what's the most yes
and we can translate it
Spirit right
okay give me more so we found out now
three yes desires
which part of you is responsible for the
desires
absolutely so
he
absolutely nuts in English we call it
self
and it has a function right
so I'm gonna just move quickly so that
we can move inshallah we can have
another class those players okay what
else
exactly the body we have three words in
Arabic
one is
and then we have
In classical Urdu they use better
nothing okay
so we have that body then we have
another The Nest is responsible
for telling means
and your walks that's the job
and just to have a good self-esteem
and self-confidence enough is to have
experience arrogance it's an ego and
show up on this definitely have
confidence and to have
like a good view about yourself because
that was
okay what are we missing we're missing
you will
the Free World comes because we have all
something about by the way
so I think Dr Ann talks about
deep
mind
and we will find out what Allah calls
this
depth
or in other words if I
how many do we have
so if you're looking at this body
yourself your emotional part
in the Quran the name of that is
actually it means
and there is another word
which is actually according to the
vocabulary
does not mean any emotional but in deep
consciousness
because you're a human
one execution like the right time and
one The Heart Right like one the process
sir and one is like the thing that keeps
happening so
because you can't see your mind and you
have another mind that sees that mind
from outside
so then you are able to
okay
so here we go
mind Apple sorry
these are
you know things that we need to know why
am I talking once you learn this in
depth
of the Quran
with yourself now
when it's
when it comes to relationships that when
a human interacts with another human
for all of these seven start talking to
each other
it's not only only your friend oh I like
him he's my friend oh she's my friend
it's not like that when you
all of this rubs against you
not only one thing
you know I'm sorry this is like I showed
you that
foreign
language and
believe what is the effect of a touch
in the block you're buying the same
level as your my life
basically language you know how these
two three four five languages and even
if you speak one language and go deep in
it you know how much mine has four
different things we communicate with
them
same level is given to touch
don't touch with Haram
Allah knows what he's talking about
it's not just
a pleasure Xena is not just a pleasure
adultery and foreign
look at who he'd be friends
on my friend's religion
because you're robbing seven against one
right so this not only
we use this in what we call
we actually use this even for us to
choose friends from the same gender
something about
we're getting closer now to the topic of
management something in this area that
every time I read it it blows my mind
foreign
countless men and women
requests
beware of several ties of kinship
relationships right
here
in be mindfulness in whose name your
request is the exchange of values
meaning
don't oppress the others don't
destroy relationships if you're about to
hurt somebody
that's what it is now
if you don't realize this verse to me
on a deep level
it has taken care of two things there is
a
discrimination based on race and
discrimination based on because it seems
countless men and women
came from these okay
so all the cases of this world came from
this
you know what do you sound when you look
at someone else from another race
because of color or Legends
I am better than you
you know what it sounds
like one brother or sister who came from
the same moment that had raised in the
same house
and you say
that's it
mankind all mankind
number one number two Allah said that
men and women
who have actually one soul
if men and women with one Soul then how
can you just come in
you know in the Bible it says oh God
created Adam and Eve
so
it's mate
and from both of both of them
he brought so many women subhanallah
every time I reflect on this point we
sell in your body is half of it from
your dad
and that's why I tell people no matter
what you're against it to you when
you're growing up
because you would end up hating yourself
if you hate your mom you hate fifty
percent fifty percent of you you ate
both of them you eat all of them
it's not a good flight hating
yourself like literally you're looking
in the mirror and you say to the right
side
but I love that it's happened
right it's fascinating so reflect on
this because this is very helpful
subhanallah like how Allah
like we don't start from an agitated
point of having a man is trying to prove
something this fight this constant
and then you'll end up with main
chopiness
everyone is fighting everyone's trying
to prove something you come back to the
Quran
shh it all operated from a single song
and from it Allah so you come from the
same Soul so it it you know the mothers
do you want to talk about women in
general
they're actually talking about
themselves
about themselves it's like you're
talking about that so what's the effect
of this why is this important is when
you hit a certain age
it depends on your qualities in life now
I want you to imagine
that you live in a Time
who studied when this green School
became part of
the world curriculumness when you open
like you have a class like you have to
go elementary then you know this is like
100 years old 100
50 years old maximum in which you have
to go to great great school all this
time there was nothing like if your
child growing there's nothing called
and I'm gonna go
none of that exists
so Humanity took a long time without
them
if you are living in a culture where
you're 10 years old you start
or working with your mom what do you
think what's on your mind by age 13 14.
there's no Elementary Middle School High
School school college there's nothing
there's nothing in there
criticized
oh my God
she should have went to elementary
school
there was none of them
I want to start my own house
that was there so if you think about it
why do we feel this urge those marriage
especially when you reach a certainly
like you know
18. by the way there's nothing there's
no magical number about 18.
in the second world war they started
drafting soldiers
in fact
up to 21. then they looked into 19. and
they know according to 18 then they
started at 18. this war there is no
rhythm or rhyme there is no where they
can present why it says at 18 nothing
it's just the Second World War soldiers
then by the time the United States got
involved and Churchill has already
prepared the speech and handing over
England to Germany the United States
interfere and they won the war for 17.
so there's no rhythm
the idea here is
you start feeling
you want to get married do you know what
that feeling is
that feeling you're mostly origin
it's made so that's all that tips
so what happens with this this idea so
how do you go about
I want I think something is missing
when you were a child you didn't feel
that this would be your puberty and now
you're becoming a full manager woman
you're like I need something I don't
know why I'm thinking about this that I
think because you're thinking you have
to become one so
again like us
all right
so
industry
Allah okay
if you're not a brother sister
just one Halal way one positive way one
good for you to have a relationship with
another person because you're feeling
you need to be holy marriage
okay what if I'm not getting mad right
now look how I must interact with one
another
you never said don't talk to winner it's
hard you can't even look at it it's just
you know what Allah said
if you're feeling why the interaction is
starting to look beyond the person
themselves that you're talking to a
person which we talk which started
feeling that you're interested in that
person themselves
Allah said lower your gifts
because the person in front of you is
not an object of pleasure
that's a human
done to
as you know to women is what made them
objects of pleasure even I don't know if
you you were young they stopped doing
that but up to 10 years ago would like
you're driving Pepsi
and there's like a girl like
naked just dancing
between Pepsi and a woman
no
and every time go right now every time I
travel for a speech I want to check that
this culture change I'm looking
card cover a woman with bikini
okay
a woman with bikini
business deals
a woman almost from bikini right
exactly
even even magazines about men the cover
is
objectifying of women
foreign
talks to women
look and protect their private parts
because what Allah is telling you it
goes from stocking to getting
comfortable to ending up too comfortable
so you should not be alone
telling them to think about each about
to fall into Haram
and protect the private parts
that's more pure for them you are a
human you're not an animal
Allah did not make us let us
you know leopards what they do
they are solitary a male and female
liver only spent
three days together mate and then they
separated
after three days it's done that's it
if Allah wanted us to be like that he
would have created us like that you
don't it's you know this idea oh look oh
we're just living just open uh so
relationship it means nothing you know
and then they start interpreting no I'm
just having a physical relationship
once you touch a person
I don't know how to describe it to you
you know
on the screen
right and like my kind of like this is
my Facebook
has a lotion and then you turn off the
screen there is a print you cannot see
it when it's gone
but there is when you let someone in so
you
emotionally mentally will let them into
you if you're not on the steps that we
will show you there are steps to manage
you are allowing someone to leave the
print fingerprint on your maps on your
mind on your soul and then they leave
and then someone doesn't put that friend
and then they leave and then
print and then
it's not healthy we are not created but
that we are tossing well
we have honored the children of Adam
look the angel losses I created the
skies
for you literally four years
everything on planet that Earth I
created it for you
I have saw the Earth so I do believe
human beings will start traveling to
other galaxies season to descriptive to
you the skies and the Earth and that's
still coming right so the idea is if
you're honored
you can't act like oh we're just animals
you know through the evolution Theory
they want you to relax okay if you want
a dinosaur you know
65 million years ago
the dinosaurs died but then we survive
how I don't know
so anyways
and this is something created right
until the beginning one that they should
lower their way
guard their private parts and not
displaying their charms and their Beauty
Beyond the face and the hands and the
Lord
conservative normal dressing like with
with
Haya and with you know that covers you
so they should let's
fall and cover their mid lines
there's a lot of pockets
[Music]
and the chest
three women on that area like how do you
know a woman was a slave or three that
the slaves were not allowed to cover
their head
that's how you knew it so Allah was
already in Arabia but when Allah told
them what did they use is to cover the
sleeves and then low-cut to sew the
chest
before attraction for men stop clothing
you name it whatever today there is was
at the time
so Allah said let them covered
did that anything a woman wears has long
sleeves and covers the mature lovers
which is not so tight so see through so
describe things so it's just meant this
you know as long as it's
normal and acceptable within the culture
what we call today hijab
and and and then people should have
simple knowledge you would oh my God was
never mentioned in before really
listen hijab
curtain that you use to cover anything
so Allah says do not speak to the
mothers of the Believers except
is live the news
is
that and cover this area
so what's the name of hijab
but today culturally we call it okay
oh
Allah
says
their sons their husbands Sons
maybe the husband
because
if the father man is a woman the son can
live for many that woman to the Allah
and if a son marry a daughter of a lady
her mother becomes
that's why your mother-in-law you cannot
hurt us
because we can never ever marry her your
father-in-law you can never give up you
know
so Allah makes it easy for family
interaction
even if you divorce them
even if you divorce the woman you cannot
marry her mother and you cannot marry
her sister too so that there's no
animosity you know your divorce the
system against each other and harm you
know so
husbands Sons
Brothers Sons your nephew right
their sisters Sons
their women's
gave
ten categories in which a woman does not
need to wear that in front of the others
ten categories right fine
in this is
because
indeed it is ever in the way
Allah 1400 years ago talked about sex
addiction in addiction
because
it's not only as an immoral is an evil
way
means when you get into it it will
become an addiction and you need a
treatment from it it's going to become a
habit you're going to be doing it all
the time something really really
important to pay attention to
because that's the alternative to the
hello in Islam it's something unique
because it's the object that you get to
choose
you get to choose your mom
you're dead
your sister you can't
who's your uncle you your answer is
your own brother long term
is marriage but you're the only
relationship that you have that choice
in so it makes Plus
it's the oldest really relationship
between two human beings the first first
two human beings
what was the relationship between them
the first relationship was not father
mother son no brother and sister the
first relationship was a husband and
wife relationship in the books right
Nation
[Music]
through children half of them from that
half of them
the absolutely
children you will never die
because
you never die if you have children
because someone is carrying
it's the only relationship
with your life forever happy and manage
[Music]
thank you
your children
you're laying in your brain
your children are alive they do
marriage
because it brings children it changes
your life forever
because of his wife and a woman can eat
like really if you invest in that really
relationship it could be probably the
only reason
simply in the Hadith
a woman was jumped according to be taken
to hell
so she said Yamaha
I will not go to heaven to move on more
and he never taught me
never cared about me and he never showed
me the husband who's supposed to work
with them
with her because
you could change your life
consider your body
why
[Music]
because it's
totally important
to get in your blind spot
most of it on the foreign
[Music]
foreign
uh
guys
the effects
there's so many new studies right now in
the world
right like
they now finally they thought we used to
talk you Muslims but you always have a
problem
what right exercise
right this is what the roles can be done
just and then you know what is it Snow
White right
Frozen right so special it was just
ready
then the second thing
the second thing that uh you know that
we are very unique
and
is another thing
so the idea is we're constantly thinking
about marriage
thank you
we clicked right
this this
place
you're not faster thinking does not work
should you click on your future
Thanksgiving
of girls
from their camps
I want to marry this guy
he's not a good guy the same thing
and three four years to pass on
I know you don't trust me
with a girl
it's not gonna work and it's not a good
relationship
you don't understand
we have chemistry between
four years
parents
because we don't see we don't see good
reasons not because there's no
discrimination
and the girl that for four years we were
begging her
to not go I want you to give me
Universe now
chemistry biology
none of that said I am not getting your
divorce
you have to go through this like you may
not
have to go after them
same thing goes with guys
so what I tell people
I tell people
the idea is just more intelligent
and you should listen to it
do not shut down when it comes to your
parents
I don't know how to explain this but we
even turned 13.
we think we were born yesterday
nothing came out what does that 13 years
old
before your adults have their parents
what did you do for me anyway
I think I taught you everything
life
your mother but they don't think because
short memory because
you know
who the members when you went in your
mother
who remembers
nobody right those are the diaper news
right
who remembers if for some of you you are
smarter that might release memory when I
was six years old
I remember my life my community from age
10 enough
just listen
to your mind
do you really know you before
you
before you knew yourself they really
know you more than your knowledge
be mature how are you gonna get into an
organic relationship
common deaths
this is why I attended boys and girls
have no regard
foreign
then it's going to be very easy to dump
your spouse
listen
listen call I might have mashallah very
understanding moms and death some of you
that the mom is understanding that that
is not something that that is
understanding your momma we're going on
fire with you just open the subject
just and take the opinion and then make
your decision but don't close that
it's your block blind spot
marriage is a choice
it's nothing it's nothing oh my God no
it's not the choice
it's not see Allah knows what's nothing
it's your choice what are you choosing
so
I tell people
you know
learn about the person per person's past
one of the biggest things that oh uh I'm
not gonna judge him by his past
I'm not going to judge him by her past
okay you know
and whenever a person is doing for 22
years they're gonna most likely to do it
I'm not saying
you know and this idea of the way we
don't judge
if I bring you right now
a plate of fruit
s you have no idea what this food is
like we are from a culture and then I
bring your food from another country are
you just didn't take it
like once you look at it and say look
is this hello does this happen does this
have four
is this how long has
it Allah there is two types of judgments
one judgment is how 24 7. the judgment
is I cannot look at a person and say oh
he's going to heaven
we can't do that generally that's how
long
oh he's a sinner
foreign
and the one who's accused
forgiven who gets to speak in my name
you're not God to judge me judgment
judge judge how to choose a friend
judge how to
don't you judge don't you use your mind
but you go to a counselor
just for taking a class
but you need a counselor do you think
do you think some advice that's a class
how long you're gonna be married to that
class
a quarter
honestly then you forget it for the rest
of your life you go to the counselor
you're sitting down and you're looking
at
oh
don't mix judgment in terms we judge a
person for life
as my spouse or not these are two
different things you use your judge
before you get when you leave your house
what clothes do you want to put
when you go to class you collect
department is not wrong okay
you get to know their family so you know
people don't like again
yes a person could be different
but
do you have you investigated them yeah
that's a good brother and a bad brother
right are you sure he's not like the bad
brother
divorced not like a brother
is but
investigation this idea basically we're
just gonna fall in love everything will
work out
this is this is
another thing you need to know their
friends what is
the person will have the faith so let
one of you see
all of you
with them
mashallah
this is what the prophet saws
right number four what are the goals
what's your goal to marry you
know
what are your goals
the person has to have a book they have
to have a life
you know
because why
you know I tell people even when you hit
one of the spouses selling the other you
are my advice you are my soul your eyes
you are my only friend oh my God
you can't be someone's own name
good friends
you want to have his friends
and then so now the relationship is not
loaded if he's your heart
and then release your everything's stuck
in that relationship you're gonna be
suffocating because you don't you do
they can't be out of your sight of life
right
so the idea is I think about these
things um I'm telling you like I just 25
years
people ask me to do marriage counseling
I thought I have no idea
sometimes doesn't work sometimes it
doesn't
people
you know how Nevada saves your marriage
because this is
Allah is the first love in my heart that
might be
and in the world of human beings are
like okay
and if I realize
and if my source of peace social peace
is your spouse
your spouse is a human
he or she
down a week a down month a down a year
for whatever reason if they don't have
your Iman and Allah
makes the relationship and not loaded
because you have a god
you get your peaceful
life and you have other friends so the
relationship between the husband and
wife is not are loaded and bare that's
why relationship fails because it is
longer than longer and then loaded and
loaded
you would suffer him in the relationship
because of your love you will suffocate
for the life
is humanity
nothing else in life except
you so that's very healthy when you're a
good believer in it because you're busy
life evaluate their faith and capture
the prophets of the world if a man comes
to you and you would like to talk to the
families
if you like
because
and it should reflect in your
relationship with people but you're
gonna live with your spouse
you're not gonna pray for to yourself
and pray to Allah but you're gonna have
to leave out
so
the person has to have a good character
any character
our language
is making people speak foul language
this is
you know I want to show you something
here
you know the words that Allah mentioned
you mentioned the word
is it's called the name of Allah
here's how people can talk
literally I have people telling me that
I love you you take me to dinner after
the movie
if you bring it with the flowers oh I
love it and then they make this easier
what happens when I don't make you feel
like that and I don't love it
then who do you love I hate you
okay please tell me between I love you
and I love me
you know people when they say touch
anything I love me
and then I love the way you make me feel
people approaching marriage like this
they have their life perfect
it's just missing the picture of a
picture of the husband they go and find
someone and then they put you in the
picture
it's a two-way and you just have to come
and fix it perfectly without the
managers that is established on looks
stunning
handsome beautiful people getting
married
because it was all about I wanted to
show my friends
that I was able to get
you you got the girl now he's not
talking to her
the world is telling me
and when we're talking to a highly
educated people
only guys
okay can we have time together
it didn't last a year and you're talking
about
highly highly Highly Educated people
information so that I don't know
literally so when it's about
right evaluate the generosity and the
ability to sacrifice
there is the love of giving
people get confused between the love of
taking the least
whatever you make me feel the love of
giving
pick someone that you will still
evaluation yeah that's great do they
pray
do the gift challenge
do you know when someone cares about
someone else other than themselves
that's it
good check mark
because if he cares about others and he
has that in him they're gonna do that
for you because they have that muscle
they have that muscle of killing white
mothers
and their education
nothing for their friends nothing this
you run away from that because that
person is
self-centered selfish
and you're gonna suffer
because love
is two types the love of taking
the husband is sacrificed
my wife
at the same time you're getting the
other person is giving he's giving and
taking and she's giving it
so that's the Dynamics
velocity by the way do you know
the word
um
foreign
do you know what's the meaning
the number one name meaning the number
two meaning
the generous
in the Arabic you can't even smell if
you're not generous
you're not even in the same universe
same universe
With Honor if you cannot read
it and you cannot be giving and you
cannot be saved someone who cares about
others you see hearing what this problem
is
[Music]
right now
so he's gonna quit
don't marry someone's good attention
you understand what they're gonna do in
their future
but if someone has a lot of learning
sound to make your judgment on now
without their potential
many mistakes young people make is
potential or he's gonna change
whatever they are right now whatever you
see what you need is what you got so
this is just um another fun consistency
to change
per month then they cannot handle it
they have to go back to being true that
means this is not someone does not have
the ability to text
and change
like this in links Allah
Allah
to purify them
to teach them the book to teach them the
wisdom what's the world recite and learn
the book
Escape
we only have two steps imagine you have
a ladder
you have like spectral step number four
that you can't even find the level
because you're missing two out of four
this idea of being able to take big
advice
and they cannot take advice and
criticism
right time
right case
intentions before
right intention right word right time
not only this and right taste don't
advise people in front of other people
if I advise one person in front of all
of you who's calling the game I am
exposing him I am destroying him that's
not an advice
consistency and ability to change
you have to ask yourself and that's what
coming to Allah for like five years
inspired me for a name and finally the
name is
awesome
it's a verb so a group of people
advising one another
to be consistent
to also be happy with them
that they if they find you find another
person
is not words
so what have they learned
[Music]
is them bearer of the believer does it
give you the image that you like to be
or the image
the mirror doesn't like
now
Five Points on love right from the
original emotion and could be strongest
spiritual
experience the strongest thing we can do
with our
s and I want you to know what has been
done to the word love in America and
today
it has been changed from describing the
highest emotion
the highest document is about not money
love the highest a person can put
towards you can give God money but you
can live in love
foreign
is not limited by time and space he
doesn't sleep he doesn't eat if even
angels or he can he gets remove Allah
said I receive takawa from you Lord
what we did the Lord Love Today the word
love is used in America to describe the
city
you can come out
to what to describe the physical action
s
what's the most famous argument is why
shall I think
you know how it's turned the word
because you changed
anything of the word start thinking oh
that's true
absolutely
never be judged for who you love I love
my cat I love
my dad
I love my brothers my sisters my
what is that have to do with the
physical action
what is the physical relationship we
what should the word love made it in the
physical action
should I make a very nice message no
actually there is no religion that
promotes the love between men and men
and women and women like Islam
embarrassing
I'm sorry
a man came to the prophet sallallahu
Allah
did you tell him
he went to him he said I love you
established on the love of Brotherhood
but that has nothing to do
hello
love is an emotions
we don't make decisions based on emotion
you want to take an advice today and
walk away with it
very fine the person in front of you
love them
because when you love someone the
emotion that is true the emotions and
then you are right to your brain your
mind everything it overrides fear
is number one it all provides everything
politics and number two love
itself
the capital
because we love that person
and because we are afraid of you and
because we hate so many great decisions
based on the prophet saws
so how do you go about meditative
always like a person before you
completely open yourself for a lot
very specific questions that we asked
before
their past their friends their family
their sisters their ability to change
their sacrifice
their generosity and all this in the
person then allow yourself to fall in
love and go on with the marriage
if you come with the emotions first then
try to reverse and say no no he's good
that's one of the things that I advise
rise in the north this is none of them
no no no no he's good
because what is the love was not enough
is two types the love of taking and the
level of giving right
what are what we are attracted to the
prophet saws
we're attracted to physical attraction
Express we're attracted to families and
then we're attracted to fail the prophet
salallahu make sure that you choose
based on faith first and then truth
whatever you like after that like you
take this there now look at the physical
attraction if the faith is there
look at that
okay
so the idea here is
function status finally status and faith
blood is the prophet saying please don't
love it no no that's not
saying make sure
it's it's up to you what do you want to
marry after that that's up to you it's
based on
issues
foreign
the foundation your hands
um steps of getting married
these are the three
go back two people are talking to each
other they didn't say no but when two
people are talking to each other
you know that she's already in the
process of talking to another
um
oh
okay
and people for years
right so
or not
said
do not have boyfriends
because the prophet saws
relationship one of the teachings of the
Quran do not
have
which is
friends and girlfriends
your choice
it's a sign it's a miracle it's a Marvel
right we take it just based on emotions
let's talk about the differences that
you know different cultures Islam spirit
because of marriage many times
you have you know we don't discriminate
based on ethnicity based on this
the prophet gave us a category Faith
character and
and then truth if someone comes and he
has a good fake but you don't like that
you don't have to learn always make sure
that that's the foundation you get what
I'm talking about
foreign
you know across hate
maybe perhaps with this thing
and Allah
don't make a choice to marry someone
based on emotions you don't make a
choice to divorce someone might hate the
gut of your wife
Allah
Allah will put in her there's so much
goodness
incredible
uh
this is you know
this is the end of the lecture because
we want to create a shot I'm Gonna Leave
This we're trying to trying to reach
I try to my best
advice one another that's why after
every lecture we have the lecture but we
have especially when it comes something
one-on-one
if you didn't sign up
if you have a question and you don't
want to ask in front of others
many students talking about relationship
with their parents they're talking about
like they like a person and they want to
get married sincere advice
works
and subhanallah every time we follow
it's amazing and beautiful
the results are amazing and beautiful
15 years ago or even medical student
students
they came to me and I said get married
now they both doctors and they together
that would change that America is in the
uh
you know
so what is the founder what is the CEO
beautiful couple of months at least
so it's all happening I talked to both
of their families there is a will there
is a way
and hello
but you have to take advisory
so that we're looking for people like
maybe if you
get in writing English
students
you can help us if you if you are
awesome and you know and good writing
skills that's also good
um what about the person it's not about
not everything is solved with a lecture
listen
with the people that we're working with
other teachers
organization not a lecture based
organization not everything is sometimes
you just need to talk about problem you
don't need a life right and then uh
questions try to read you can send it on
an email address in your email I'll
check my email there
to implement
bring more teachers to be available for
the students
because talk to the person of knowledge
if you can't talk to them you you can
attend all the lectures in the world
lived right next to his Masjid
to be ready
that's the best of mankind
he was available 24 7.
to be available for people
bring
that model we want to bring that follows
learning together you know teaching you
know and then
we don't have we don't bring all
teachers
and we had 600 kids
that they did not go to Halloween had a
mind-blowing
program for them we made it about
learning about angels the whole topic
about angels 600 kids had so much fun
learns who was running the show not me
obviously but
upper high school and college and kids
walked away until now there's kids we
give them the names of the angels and
their jobs
so they hang it on their lanyards the
kids to understand holding the lanyards
and walking around the MCA with it
they're eating can go and they got so
attacked to the whole idea
so we're looking for Innovation how can
we in the original way if I use the
modern means so we want a newsletter how
to reach here please come it's an open
platform it's not about one person or
one child us all together you know
what's your friend's name
you can bring our programs we need to
talk about someone advised me someone
your MSA leaders they say talk about
this obviously this is not a one-time
you know after ratio again
I think there's a rule upstairs where
did you choose the room for that we will
talk about that inshallah I'll go and
then we can talk to Zachary
[Applause]

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